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Ella

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Dear Ella. 
I'm so sorry. Sorry that we didn't know about the cancer sooner that ended your two biggest loves: eating and catching toys. Sorry that we rushed the decision to put you to sleep, sorry that we didn't give you a little more time in the sun. Sorry that I didn't think to take you to the toilet before we went into that awful sterile room for the last time.
However, I'm not sorry for all the years we had with you. Yes, you were very dog reactive and so strong in your younger years that you pulled me over more than once. But the twelve years of love you gave us all, with your head butts, kisses and games we played will bring us joy forever.
Ziggy is being so brave, but daddy and I are not. I can hardly see to write this through my tears, but I needed to say goodbye properly. 
You were such a beautiful girl. I don't think we'll ever know someone so clever, stubborn and pretty. Your independent radar ears and your silly smiles. Your singing at the broken ice cream van was hilarious. Your love of bubbles was simple bliss. The play fights with Ziggy always made us laugh. Howling and barking games and keeping the delivery guys on their toes. 
Sleeping upside down with your jowls vibrating with your snores and the whoop whoop and sleep running of your chasing dreams. Daddy says he misses your huff barks when you knew there wasn't really any threat but something was annoying outside. 
I really hope you enjoyed your life with us. We tried to give you everything you needed. Holidays all over the place. Good food, obviously including carrots and dentisticks. As many cuddles as you'd tolerate. 
We will miss you forever, but we're so privileged to have been your mummy and daddy. 
I hope you're at peace now. Please don't terrorise Barney and my parent's dogs too much, they keep you company until we meet again. 
I think I felt your presence yesterday, did you throw green dinosaur at me? I'm sure it was you. 
All the love in the world. See you soon Ella bear. 
Xxxxx

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