Mustn't grumble

So I went for a physio appointment today. The lady was very pleased with my progress. She said I no longer need to wear any bandages and gave me a few extra exercises to do. She also let me see my x-rays, shared here for your viewing pleasure. I am a bionic woman now.  Before surgery.  Notice the weird angles of my knees.  After surgery. Two visuals of right knee. Knee is so much straighter. I just can't quite believe how much metal is in there!  I'm guessing the weird fork things were part of the temporary cage. Nice clean break.  Like something off X-files. Here are the latest externals... Under my kneecap. Outside of my thigh. So this bit really hurts, it's just above the thigh wound. There is something under the skin that is really taut and pulls like crazy. Physio lady is going to ask Prof what it is. Bruising and swelling going down great.

I'm no angel. I freely admit that, but I do wonder how much of my behaviour stems from my experiences growing up. I am short. There's no denying it. And with being different, I have always been an easy target. Midget, titch, short-arse, you name it, it's been directed at me. Even folk that think they are being cute and remind me how small I am - eye-roll - don't help. I'd like to think I'm also pretty clever, not A* smarts, but a good B+ and being smart and a weirdo don't mix. I've never been very good at keeping my head down and liked putting my hand up in class when I knew the answers, again making me teacher's pet, blah blah. I am also about 50% deaf in my left ear and while I've had a silicone implant to try and build onto the little Auditory Ossicle that was deformed from birth, I still can't hear that well in a group which meant that teasing me came even easier. Oh and did I mention that I'm also as blind as a bat and have had l...

So it's now my 'day three' (operation day being day zero) and I'm almost back to normal.  Sort of.  The day of the operation went perfectly. I was in the OR at 9 am and settled in quote 'the best room in the whole hospital' with sweet and sour chicken by about 5pm (I think). I have been really privileged to have a private corner room with two huge windows and my own bathroom.  The mixture of anaesthetic and morphine and who knows what else meant that day zero was pretty easy.  As soon as I was in the recovery room in my delirious state I was put on a physio machine that kept my knee moving and I had that all night and most of day one and over night. It kept me awake quite a lot, not because it was particularly painful but because my leg kept jumping off it (rebelling) and I had to keep readjusting. And it was noisy and quite annoying as is the call bell. It was much easier using the machine than trying to bend my knee manually though. Even now I can only be...

Less than 36 hours to go until knee surgery of doom and I am getting more and more anxious. I've tried incredibly hard for the last five months to carry on as normal and stay positive but now that the day is almost here I am terrified. Not least what I should take to hospital with me, but how long I will be in pain for, how long the four wounds are going to take to heal and worst of all, whether the operation will actually work. It is technically experimental after all since they don't actually know for sure why I'm so sore. I received a letter from the NHS the other week apologising for not seeing me within their twelve week target. I don't know if that made me feel better or worse. I know the pressures they are under so am not resentful. My knee on the other hand seems to have taken on a personal vendetta and has gotten incredibly painful just recently. It's like hot needles appear out of thin air sometimes, but it's probably just in my head because I'm ...